Edson Braafheid interview: "I couldn't handle the pressure at Bayern Munich"

In summer 2009 Edson Braafheid was on the verge of joining his hometown club Ajax Amsterdam until Louis van Gaal called him with the mission to sign for Bayern Munich. The dutchman complied that wish and made a step which turned out to be too big for him.

In an extensive and self-critical interview with SPOX and Goal, Braafheid looks back to his difficult time in Munich and reveals what it is like to work under the guidance of van Gaal and with big players like Franck Ribery.

The 37-year-old, who plays for Austin Bold in Texas today, also speaks about the worst moment of his career when he were degraded at TSG Hoffenheim and couldn't find a new club for one year.

Mr. Braafheid, you joined Bayern Munich from Twente Enschede in summer 2009 at the behest of Louis van Gaal. How did it come about?

Edson Braafheid: It was crazy. (laughs) I had already agreed on a contract with Ajax, but a few days before the signing was to take place, my mobile phone rang. It was van Gaal.

What did he say to you?

Braafheid: That I should turn down the Ajax offer and come to Munich immediately, there would be a contract ready to sign for me.

You complied that wish.

Braafheid: Who wouldn't? One of the best coaches in the world wants you to join one of the best clubs in the world. I said to myself: Let's go, nothing can go wrong!

The opposite happened. You just played 19 games for Bayern.

Braafheid: You are always wiser afterwards. Would my career have been different if I had signed with Ajax instead of Bayern? I suppose so. Would it have gone better? Nobody knows.

Do you regret your decision?

Braafheid: No. Even though Amsterdam is my hometown and I would have loved to play for Ajax, the time in Munich shaped me a lot. It was a hard time, but I learned to deal with pressure situations and to develop mental strength. And I also became a better footballer. Who can claim to have trained with guys like Luca Toni or Bastian Schweinsteiger? Even without the playing practice I would have wished for, I learned a lot. Even if I didn't really want to admit it myself at that time.

Why you didn't succeed in Munich?

Braafheid: I had a lot of self-confidence when I came to Munich. Today I know: too much. I was almost blinded by it. I had previously played for Twente, an average performing club from the Eredivisie, and I was convinced that I could become a Bayern starter immediately. I'm not saying I wasn't ready for it in terms of my qualities as a footballer. I just wasn't mentally ready. With a club like Bayern, there's a lot of pressure. I couldn't handle it.

imago images / MIS

Braafheid: "I didn't understand van Gaal"

After a couple of games from the start, you ended up on the bench.

Braafheid: I was disappointed. I didn't understand the coach and I thought: He wanted me so badly, why the hell doesn't he trust me? I wasn't the only one who wasn't performing well at that point. I had the feeling that it was easy for him to take me out of the game because I was "his" player and not yet an experienced player, which might have led to discussions with the bosses Uli Hoeneß or Karl-Heinz Rummenigge. Let's be honest: None of the people in charge except van Gaal had ever heard of me before my arrival. Therefore, there was a special focus on me. I had to deliver. And I didn't. So I ended up on the bench. That's the harsh reality when you play for a top club.

But Bayern Munich is also known as a familiar club where every player is supported.

Braafheid: We live in a performance society in which everyone is replaceable. Especially at this level and with these goals, there is no time for sentimentality, not even at Bayern Munich. Apart from van Gaal, I had a few other compatriots in my team who gave me this "family feeling" just because of the language. Mark van Bommel and Arjen Robben for example, two great guys. But they also had to compete on the pitch and felt the pressure when things didn't go so smoothly. Of course, everything is nice and great and wonderful when you are successful. Then you are a family, a sworn community. But we had problems back then and that's why I got into trouble quickly. I became very nervous because I was desperate to secure my spot in the Dutch national team for the World Cup in summer 2010.

That's why you decided to join Celtic Glasgow on loan during the winter break.

Braafheid: I might have done it differently today. When I saw how far Bayern came in the second half of the season in the Champions League, I was sad. I would have loved it to be part of the team and celebrate the win of the Bundesliga and DFB cup.

imago images

Braafheid: "I wasn't patient enough back then"

But you got enough minutes in Glasgow, went to the World Cup in South Africa and even played 22 minutes in the final.

Braafheid: Life is a about decisions. Every decision has advantages and disadvantages. I am grateful to have been part of a World Cup. Of course, a few people from my environment argued at the time: Edson, you might have been able to jump on the World Cup train in Munich. But at that moment I decided to go a different way. I wasn't patient enough back then. I couldn't control myself.

After the World Cup van Gaal gave you a second opportunity in Munich, but you couldn't take it. It's said that the beginning of your end at Bayern was a "clash" with van Gaal after a match against Borussia Mönchengladbach in November 2010. Do you remember what happened?

Braafheid: We had a lot of injured players at that time, including me there were only three field players on the bench. Danijel Pranjic had problems in the first half, so van Gaal sent me, David Alaba and Thomas Müller to warm up. At half-time he said to me: "Get ready, Pranjic won't be able to continue." So I kept warming up and warming up, but Pranjic could move on. Finally, in the 80th minute, van Gaal changed Pranjic for Alaba. And I thought: All right, I won't have to warm up anymore. I went back to the bench. Van Gaal didn't tell me anything until we were in the dressing room.

And then what?

Braafheid: Well, the atmosphere was very negative. We drew 3-3 and lost some important points in the title race with Borussia Dortmund. Van Gaal was furious, he shouted at everyone. Then he came up to me and bleated: "Why don't you warm up when I tell you to warm up?" We had an emotional discussion and I tried to make him see my point. Then he just shook his head and bitched at somebody else. He was a very difficult person, even though in retrospect I can understand some of his actions that I couldn't understand at the time.

Even your substitution in the 2-0 defeat in the Champions League group stage match against Girondins Bordeaux one year earlier when you became a target of whistles by the Bayern fans?

Braafheid: No. I still believe that I did a decent job together with Franck Ribery on the left wing. I made two or three mistakes defensively, but they didn't lead to goals for Bordeaux and I played well offensively. So I don't know whether the whistles were more dedicated to my performance or van Gaal's decision to replace me. Van Gaal confronted me with the whistles after the game. He wanted to know how I felt. I said: "That's all right, people pay for watching our games and they can give their opinion on what they see." I wasn't really sad about it.

imago images / Ulmer/Cremer

Braafheid: "I didn't just play bad games"

But it's well known that many Bayern fans weren't happy with your performances.

Braafheid: Do you think I was satisfied with my performances? No. I had a hard time right from the start because I was seen more as a player of van Gaal, not as a player of Bayern. But I didn't just play bad games. My performance against Bordeaux was decent. Or against Juventus. I have some great memories. I had a lot of fun when I played, especially in the Champions League. It was something special. I will never forget that.

How is your relationship with van Gaal today?

Braafheid: We haven't spoken since I left Bayern. I'd shake his hand if I were to meet him today. There is no problem at all. He was under a lot of pressure from the people in charge back then. I always think about the positive memories. What I appreciated most about him: his attention to detail. None of my coaches was as well prepared as he was. Our opponents always played exactly as he had predicted. We were never surprised because we always knew what our opponents were doing in which situation. Van Gaal wasn't a normal coach. He never moved away from his philosophy, and at Bayern he amazed every player, no matter how old or established he was.

How he was as a person?

Braafheid: When I drove to training in the morning, I never knew what kind of person I would meet there. Van Gaal was like a bag of tricks. Sometimes it was all totally funny, what he told or did, but then again it was kind of disrespectful and provocative. I don't want to give a concrete example, this is nothing for the media. (laughs)

Who do remember especially from your teammates?

Braafheid: The team itself was absolute madness, a perfect mix of talented and experienced players. For me as a defender, Luca Toni was an incredibly frustrating opponent in training. He always placed his body perfectly between the ball and his opponent, shooting with his right foot, shooting with his left foot. He was also a weapon in the air. You couldn't stop him.

Was Toni the best player in the Bayern squad back then?

Braafheid: I wouldn't say that. Everyone was special in his own way. I often took my imaginary hat off to Philipp Lahm. I can't remember a bad game from him. The guy didn't even play a bad pass in training. He was cold as ice.

And Ribery, your partner on the left wing?

Braafheid: Franck is the kind of football player who tells you a joke and tackles you ten seconds later. With him, fun can turn into seriousness very, very quickly. Especially when things aren't going well. There are a lot of supposedly great football players, but they hide themselves when it really counts. Franck never hid himself. And that's what really makes a great player. He was always angry when he didn't get the ball. "Offensive, offensive," he always shouted. You always knew: You can count on him. For me it was wonderful to play with him. He and Robben were amazing wingers, surely two of the best ever in football.

So how did it feel for you in January 2011 to leave this great team and join TSG Hoffenheim?

Braafheid: Hoffenheim was a village club compared to Bayern. But the people there gave me a very warm welcome. And I was full of positive energy because I wanted to finally prove myself in the Bundesliga.

imago images / Ulmer

Braafheid: "I never caused any problems at Hoffenheim"

Which only partially worked. In summer 2013, you ended up in the "Training group two" where you weren't allowed to train with the first team.

Braafheid: I will never forget when I contacted the sporting director after the summer break because I wasn't informed about our return to training. I thought to myself: Okay, they probably forgot to contact me. Then one Saturday I was told to come by two days later. There I only met a small group of players and we were told: "Hey guys, the manager wants to try something and you're out for now. Train here and find another club as soon as possible."

What was your reaction?

Braafheid: I thought at first that they want to fool me. There was no reason to treat me like this. I never caused any problems or trained unprofessionally before. But they were serious. So I was supposed to go there every day and train isolated from the Bundesliga squad. Like I was a criminal.

The problems actually started one year before when Hoffenheim coach Markus Babbel sent you to train with the under-23 team. Didn't you ever have an open conversation with him?

Braafheid: Yes, yes. But it took me two months to arrange this conversation with him. "What is this circus? What have I done wrong?", I asked him. He replied, "It's all right, Edson, you didn't do anything wrong, but we don't think you fit into the team anymore." I went on: "Then why can't I train with the team for once? Is it my smile that bothers you or what's the problem here?" He said: "No, there's no personal problem. This decision is based only on sporting reasons." I didn't let up and asked him to train with the whole team. "And if I'm only third choice on a position: I will work my ass off." Then he smiled and said, "I like your attitude. I'll see what I can do and get back to you in a few days." I never heard from him again. What a joke, man!

You know who ordered the decision to create a "Training group two"?

Braafheid: No. I've never been in contact with the people in charge either. In my three years there, I never spoke a word to Dietmar Hopp.

imago images / Claus Bergmann

Braafheid: "I was in a deep hole"

How badly did this situation affect you?

Braafheid: I wanted to leave immediately, but it didn't work out. The thing went straight to the media. It was partly written that we are problematic professionals. I had a bad-boy image, which is why other clubs hesitated to talk to me, even though they didn't even know me personally. They probably thought: If these guys train in a separate group, there must be something wrong with them. It was the worst experience of my career because I couldn't do anything against it. I had the feeling that I was in a deep hole.

At that time, were you also thinking about ending your career prematurely?

Braafheid: The fear of not finding a club was there, of course. But I was 29, 30 at the time, which is actually the best age for a footballer, at least in terms of physical fitness. That's why I didn't give up and trained with the hope of getting a chance at another club one day.

With Tim Wiese there was another prominent player in the "Training group two". How did he deal with the situation?

Braafheid: Tim was angry, like all of us. But I can only talk about myself: I turned that anger into motivation. Without my family I would probably have become depressed. It distracted me. I was never alone, thank God.

In 2014, you got the opportunity to escape from Hoffenheim. Lazio signed you, you stayed in Italy for two years.

Braafheid: The time at Hoffenheim taught me that even after the longest rainstorm the sun shines again sometime. In Italy I rediscovered the fun of football. I had a great time there.

After your time in Italy you returned to your first professional club, FC Utrecht. Now you play in Texas for Austin Bold, a second-league club. Like many athletes in the United States, you are committed to fighting racism in the social media. What do you think about the #blacklivematters campaign after the death of George Floyd?

Braafheid: It's important to point out that racism and discrimination are unfortunately still very present in our society. The death of George Floyd shouldn't be forgotten. I can see from myself that I have been silent on this topic for far too long.

Braafheid: "You have to expect monkey noises"

Tell me about it.

Braafheid: Unfortunately, I have had negative experiences with racism everywhere in my private and professional life, whether in Italy, the USA or Germany. As a black player these days you almost have to expect monkey noises or other snide noises from the opponent's fans when you have the lead with your team. They want to make you feel bad, get you out of your comfort zone. I have heard such noises sometimes in my career, and they have been directed at me or other black players in my team. The problem: I more or less ignored it during the match itself because I was focused to finish and win the match. Looking back, I should have been more active against it. But honestly, even with 37, I still sometimes don't know how to deal with it.

In what way?

Braafheid: The question is: How do I recognize racism? By remarks? By gestures? If it isn't a clear insult about your skin color or origin, the room for interpretation is big. The important thing is that you feel comfortable and treated equally. I often didn't have this impression. For example, when I was shopping, I often thought: Why is this person treating me like this now? Of course, it could be that this person also treats white people in this way, but I don't know. Such situations often left me with the question: Was this racism? It is important to ask this question actively instead of thinking: Oh, that's not worth it, I think it's better to be silent and avoid a possibly unpleasant discussion.

Football is slowly coming back in the United States. How long do you want to play?

Braafheid: We recently had two positive corona cases in the team. I tested negative. But regardless of the test result, it was clear to me that I wouldn't train for a few weeks. My wife and I are expecting a baby and we are looking forward to it now. My career is coming to an end anyway. It is possible that I will finish to play this year.

Austin Bold

Braafheid: "It's time to start being a family man"

And after that?

Braafheid: I think it's time to start being a real family man. With all the training sessions and travelling as a professional, it is very difficult to lead a regular family life. I still have two children in the Netherlands that I see very rarely. I want to be there for everyone. That doesn't mean that I'm giving up football completely.

Does that mean you can imagine working as a coach?

Braafheid: As a coach your relationship with the individual players is rather superficial, because you're in charge of a squad of 20 to 30 players and have to put the collective above individual needs. I would therefore prefer to work specifically with individual players, in management. It's important to understand a footballer as a person. Everyone has their own story that shapes them. Football is 90 percent mental. No matter how much talent and physical strength you have, you can only get your best out of you if you are mentally strong.